A few days ago, a guy asked me out on a date. We both had busy weekends already planned before he headed out for a week’s vacation, so we settled on a quick coffee date. When he suggested we meet at Dunkin Donuts (DD), my response was, “Seriously?” I was taken aback that he had suggested we meet at a place that – in my opinion – is about as classy as a McDonalds for a first meeting. There was not first date etiquette! My initial instinct was to run for the hills, but instead, I quickly did a spontaneous crowdsource on my Facebook page and asked the question: Am I being too picky that I don’t want to go on a date to Dunkin Donuts on a Saturday night? A few friends even messaged me directly on whatsapp to say I wasn’t crazy for feeling that way.

Let me first say that I am a fan of DD. In fact, earlier that day, I had a delicious coffee Coolatta with a dash of skin milk on my way home from work, but to me, DD is a pit stop, a fast-food restaurant where you grab an egg and cheese sandwich on a Saturday morning after a raging Friday night out at a club. It’s where people from your town hang out and shoot the shit during the day. It’s not a place to sit with a cup of coffee on a first date and get to know someone. Honestly, if he had sent that invitation over whatsapp, I might have just ghosted the message. Anyhow, back to my Facebook inquiry to my hundreds of friends and aquaintances. I have to say that the responses were literally split down the center. All of the women thought it was appalling and the men didn’t think it was a problem at all. It was a true “men are from mars, women are from venus” moment. In fact, one guy friend asked if I thought it would be more suitable to have met at a nicer coffeehouse, such as Starbucks or an independent coffeehouse. The answer? Yes. One woman even joked on whatsapp that meeting at Dunkin Donuts was like swiping right and then going to Taco Bell for Valentine’s Day.

It troubled me that, although my poll was a very small survey, the men and women were miles apart in what they thought was appropriate for a first date. And even more troubling? That the guy who asked me out thought it was ok. In fact, he later told me that he had had several DD dates with other ladies already, and apparently even scheduled some of them by whatsapp message. Good grief. I went against my instinct and went on the date, and while this is going to sound shallow and perhaps piss some of you off, I frankly think I deserve to be treated better than a cheap date at Dunkin Donuts – first date or the otherwise. In an ideal world, the guy would have said that he would have met me near my home at a nicer establishment than a Dunkin Donuts, but instead, he asked me to meet him closer to his home at a Dunkin Donuts. If he had sent me a map pin on whatsapp, I think I would have rolled my eyes.

And I did it, because I need to get my head out of my ass and realize that not everyone is going to bend over backwards to give me the perfect first date. Did I feel awkward on the date? Yes. Was I resentful at times? Yes. Did I overanalyze the situation? You betcha! Did a meet a nice guy in the process? Yes. And will I go out with him again? Perhaps. At least now I know to clarify the venue on whatsapp before saying yes. So, the moral of the story: I don’t regret saying yes to a date outside of my comfort zone, but I also know that I don’t enjoy sacrificing how I think I should be treated. Do I think some of you are going to read this and think I made a big deal out of nothing? Certainly, but I also know that I’ve worked hard to where I am in my life and showing a little class on a first date isn’t a lot to ask for. A friend on whatsapp summed it up perfectly: “If he can’t pick the place, maybe he’s not the place.” All I can say is that it can only go up from here! And yes, my phone is still buzzing with whatsapp notifications from girlfriends wanting the latest update.